


Bad Habits

by lovexyou



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Collars, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Idols, Romantic Angst, Slow Burn, heheh, i never knew that was a tag until now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-08-23 10:17:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16617074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovexyou/pseuds/lovexyou
Summary: They’re too close. Always too close. “I have you,” Sana answers, her words feeling a little too truthful.





	1. Part 1

Then it’s over, because everything eventually comes to an end.

 

Dahyun can’t sleep no matter how hard she tries. Instead, she stares at the ceiling of Sana’s private apartment and tells herself again and again that this won’t happen again— _can’t_ happen again. They need to stop, need to before everything breaks. And it _will_ break, she’s starting to become sure of it. It always does, and it probably always will.

 

Even if Sana wears her heart on her sleeve. Even if Sana could have been the exception in different circumstances, in another universe. Just not this one.

 

So Dahyun plans to follow all the rules she’s previously broken, mentally counting all of them and making sure she has them memorized. She’ll leave in the morning before Sana gets up. She’ll make sure that she doesn’t text Sana back. She’ll make sure that she can push all these feelings away and stop them before they get out of hand.

 

And it should be easy. It _should_ be easy, but Dahyun knows she’s never let herself feel this strongly before for someone, never broken this many rules for someone. Before she would just ignore it, but it’s just too hard to ignore Sana’s affection.

 

Sure, Sana would probably be pissed at being ignored and maybe just a little heartbroken but this way they’ll both be fine, no feelings involved, no real pain between the two of them, nothing breaking and nothing changing. Dahyun tells herself that she shouldn’t worry, that it’ll be _fine._  Everything will be fine, so long as she makes sure to leave.

 

Sana moves just a bit under the sheets, hugging Dahyun closer to her. Dahyun could leave right now if she wanted to, knows she should, knows she can. Sana’s grip is weak with sleep. She wouldn’t notice if or when Dahyun left.

 

 _It’s not a big deal_ , Dahyun tries to tell herself.

 

Dahyun pushes a few strands of hair behind Sana’s ear, leans down to kiss her cheek. Sana seems so peaceful when she sleeps. Dahyun wishes moments like these could last a little longer.

 

She really should just leave while she still can.

 

(But she can’t help it.)

 

“Sana?” Dahyun whispers, a small smile at her lips.

 

“Hnn?” Sana answers in her sleep, brows crinkling in the middle. Her pretty face twists in tired confusion as she slowly opens her eyes.

 

“This was fun, but I need to leave,” Dahyun mumbles out. She sits up but she’s immediately pulled back down by the older girl.

 

“Oh no you don’t,” Sana grumbles while tucking Dahyun closer to her. “It’s _Saturday_ , Dubu. And our schedule is free!”

 

“Yeah, but—”

 

“ _Dubuu_ …” Sana groans out, pouting in annoyance and trying to nuzzle closer to Dahyun again. She seems almost disappointed as she says: “Are you _really_ gonna leave me?”

 

“I- I can explain later, if you want, but I really need to leave—”

 

“Really, Dahyun?” Sana mutters under her breath, more annoyed and confused than angry, but her grip weakens and she lets go.

 

And now Dahyun _really_ can’t help but regret trying to leave because Sana is laying back down and turning her back towards her. “It’s not anything,” Dahyun mumbles, but her heart is weak so she’s laying down next to Sana again, nothing ever changing. “You know that, right?”

 

“Still,” Sana mumbles out, and this time she sounds almost sad. “I don’t like it when you leave.”

 

Dahyun hums, and she can’t help but agree. _Trust me_ , Dahyun thinks but knows better than to say it out loud, _I don’t like it when I leave you either._

 

And that’s exactly the reason why she knows she should go before these feelings get too serious, but she doesn't.

 

~

 

It’s easy to fall in love with Sana. She can enchant just about anyone she wants to, knows how to charm people into liking her. It’s a good thing for this type of industry, but it starts to become just another bad habit. It’s easy to lie, to pretend, to deceive. And it works. It always does.

 

 _Always_ , except when she’s done it too many times with the same target—the same victim—and it starts to be less about playing a game and more about caring. It starts to be a little too much fun to play pretend, to flirt around. It starts to hurt.

 

“What’s your worst habit?” Dahyun asks later in the morning, if 11am still counts as morning.

 

Sana chuckles. “Why are you asking? Trying to expose me?”

 

“I would be,” Dahyun lifts her head up to look directly at Sana, “But it’s not like it’s hard to expose you.”

 

Sana gasps dramatically fake. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!”

 

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Dahyun says with an airy giggle and goes back to trying to find her missing clothes, even lifting up the corner of the bed in her search.

 

Sana ponders, tilting her head a bit. “You. You’re my worst habit.”

 

Dahyun’s quiet for a moment, but then she laughs. “How _romantic_ of you,” she quips, playfully slapping Sana’s arm.

 

“I’m just saying the truth!”

 

“See, that’s why you’re easy to expose.”

 

Sana pouts.

 

“You bond easily with people you’re into, even if it might hurt.”

 

“So do you,” Sana grumbles, “It’s not like we’re any different from each other.”

 

~

 

Love becomes a little harder when it’s not perfect. All those fairy tale stories and all those perfect happy endings make real life seem so unpleasant.

 

Dahyun craved that romantic happily ever after in her childhood. Then she grew up, and love wasn’t perfect.

 

Or maybe it’s just the situation that isn’t.

 

~

 

The only reason this is happening is because it’s raining and there’s nothing else to do. At least that’s what Dahyun tells herself.

 

The weather’s been a bit out of it lately, with sudden rains soaking them through their clothes in mere seconds. Because of that, the two of them decide to go to Sana’s private apartment instead of their group’s dorm, especially considering that the apartment was closer.

 

“You should stay over,” Sana suggests.

 

Dahyun nods, not really paying attention. She's looking at all the pictures and paintings on Sana’s walls. “I don’t think I’ve ever been here except at night.”

 

“Well, that’s _your_ fault, you pervert.” Sana sticks her tongue out, being purposefully ironic considering she's the one that's always inviting Dahyun over at night. “I swear, we’re barely friends,” Sana continues teasing.

 

“We’re friends?” Dahyun asks earnestly, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Of course we are?” Sana tilts her head to the side like a puppy, confused as to why Dahyun’s so unsure. “Why do you look so surprised?”

 

“It’s nothing, it’s just…”

 

“Something bothering you?” Sana asks helpfully, walking a little closer. “C’mon, you can tell me.”

 

Dahyun bites her bottom lip, a bit of a blush spreading; “I’m not usually friends with the people I sleep with.”

 

“Not when you say it like that!” Sana blushes before swatting at Dahyun’s arm, Dahyun just laughing at her reaction though a bit shy. “Fine, we don’t have to be friends! I’ll just ignore you forever!”

 

“I didn’t mean it that way!” Dahyun says quickly, pursing her lips, trying to stop laughing but a chuckle coming out of her mouth anyway.

 

Sana pouts before suddenly jumping at the sound of lightning, the lights on the apartment flickering off and on for a moment. When she calms down, she notices that she just jumped into Dahyun’s arms.

 

Sana smirks. “Interesting.”

 

Dahyun just huffs, still holding Sana up. “What?”

 

“You didn’t let me fall,” Sana says with a soft smile. And then, the smile is replaced by an evil giggle. “I have an idea of what we should do to pass the time…”

 

Dahyun drops her. “So that’s why you wanted us to go to your apartment,” she mutters under her breath while walking away to continue looking around the apartment.

 

“Come back, I love you!” Sana playfully shouts at Dahyun’s retreating figure.

 

~

 

“So, what _is_ love?” Sana jokes when their cuddling in the bed again, her smile soft yet lovely.

 

“It’s too late for this,” Dahyun complains, her eyes mostly closed as she looks at the time on her phone.

 

“Oh, baby don’t hurt me…”

 

“Shush.” Dahyun sits up against Sana’s complaints, a smile forming despite herself.

 

“Have you ever been in love, Dubu?” Sana asks, a little too honest and blunt for the both of them.

 

“Once or twice.”

 

Sana lifts her head up, the sheet falling just a little too low to cover everything. “With me?”

 

“You wish,” Dahyun answers while adjusting the sheets for Sana, laying back down and turning away from Sana, too sleepy to care.

 

They lie like that for a moment, until the silence becomes too much and Dahyun just wants to know the answer to why they continue to do this.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Dahyun hears Sana mumble a _sure_. “Why do you do this with me?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Sana hums to herself.

 

“You're the only constant in my life right now.” Dahyun hopes that she doesn't sound too in love. “Though you're definitely not good for me.”

 

Sana chuckles. “Not for the next ten years at least.”

 

Dahyun hopes her heart could relax for a minute. “Have you ever dated someone you’re in love with before?” Dahyun asks, curiosity getting the best of her. She hates this feeling.

 

Sana takes Dahyun’s hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.

 

They’re too close. Always too close. “I have you,” Sana answers, her words feeling a little too truthful. “So I don’t need to.” Then she adds, “I don't want to.”

 

Dahyun pulls Sana closer, “Don’t you dare fall in love with me then.”


	2. Part 2

It’s different when they’re not alone.

 

“Are you okay?” Nayeon asks Sana after they get off-air, having noticed that Sana’s been incredibly distracted today.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Sana answers quickly enough, but she’s not looking at Nayeon.

 

Nayeon follows Sana’s gaze and sees that she’s looking at Dahyun, who’s in the middle of a conversation with Jeongyeon about who knows what. More specifically, Nayeon notices that Sana’s admiring the high-waisted shorts that are hugging Dahyun’s body and showing off her attractiveness. It’s normal for them to wear short clothing—normal for all female idols—and yet Sana’s attention is _all_ on her.

 

Nayeon raises a hand to her mouth, trying to cover a giggle. Sana doesn’t notice, too engrossed in blatantly staring at her Dubu.

 

“We have a performance tomorrow,” Nayeon reminds her, voice so _teasing_ , “So don’t be too rough with her, okay?”

 

Sana turns to her, a smile on her face. "No promises," she says in a low voice, "If she wants me to, I'm not gonna say no..."

 

Nayeon slaps Sana's arm, shaking her head at how explicit Sana is.

 

~

 

It always starts with a kiss. It doesn’t usually end there.

 

Sana hoists Dahyun up on her, feeling the denim press on her bare stomach. All she wants to do is to take off the bothersome material, but she knows that now’s not the time. They barely have five minutes, and Sana's not one to rush through pleasuring Dahyun.

 

Still, as she explores Dahyun’s mouth, Sana can’t help but want to take care of the growing heat between their two bodies. With each passing second, she wants more than anything to feel the satisfaction of hearing Dahyun moan her name out. It's been a while since she's topped the younger girl.

 

“Sana-unnie,” Dahyun says in a low whisper when Sana lets go of her lips. Her breathing becomes rougher and less contained as Sana’s kisses explore her neck instead, slowly leading downwards, Sana’s hands wandering underneath her clothes- “ _Sana_.”

 

“You did great today, baby,” Sana says, her voice coming out as a growl. She stops for a moment to look at Dahyun in the eye and make sure that the younger girl knows she’s being serious right now. “You’re getting better everyday.”

 

“You’re just _saying_ that,” Dahyun laughs, and it sounds like music.

 

“But it’s true,” Sana says while pressing another kiss on Dahyun’s collarbone, loving the way Dahyun’s breath hitches at the contact.

 

“We need to join the others,” Dahyun tries to reason, but the way she melts into Sana’s touch doesn’t show much hesitation.

 

“I know, baby,” Sana mumbles, lowering Dahyun back down a bit reluctantly.

 

Dahyun stumbles without Sana holding her up. Sana quickly grabs her hand, making sure Dahyun stays upright.

 

“Sorry,” Dahyun says, her voice so low that Sana can barely hear her.

 

“Are you tired?” Sana asks, tilting her head to catch Dahyun’s eye, the lust in her expression dissolving into worry. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, just…” Dahyun leans into Sana again. “ _Just-_ take me home?”

 

“Now?” Sana asks, surprised by Dahyun’s request. They still have a show to do later.

 

“I feel sick…” Dahyun admits, lowering her head.

 

Sana nods. She’s not used to seeing Dahyun like this. Most of them have gotten good at hiding how hard having such a stressful schedule is, so much so that Sana barely ever notices when she herself can’t do more. She leads Dahyun out, a hand on her waist, holding her carefully.

 

~

 

It’s dark outside when Dahyun wakes up. She’s disorientated, but she’s aware of a few things: she’s still wearing her clothes (which is a good sign) and Sana’s sleeping next to her. Oh, and it’s raining hard outside, pelting the roof over their heads with heavy drops, only getting heavier with each second that passes.

 

She tries to sit up, but the movement makes her dizzy and causes her vision to go out of focus.

 

Sana shifts next to her. “Babe, go back to sleep,” she slurs.

 

The scent of alcohol on her breath is undeniable. “You’ve been drinking?” Dahyun asks even though she knows the answer.

 

“It’s fine, just go back to sleep-”

 

“You promised you’d stop,” Dahyun says lowly, but she sounds sadder than angry. “That you wouldn’t when we were in the middle of a comeback.”

 

Sana hesitates to answer. “I can explain?”

 

“No, Sana-” her voice cracks, “You _know_ what happened last time.”

 

Sana tries to take her hand, “Baby-” but Dahyun pulls her hand away.

 

Dahyun can't even meet her eye, too disappointed in Sana. She hates it when Sana goes back to her old habits, knows how dangerous it can be. Dahyun suddenly realizes that they're not in Twice’s dorms but, instead, Sana’s place again. “Why did you take me here?”

 

“I-I didn’t know what to do, okay?” Sana tries to explain, but her eyes are teary and her voice shakes. She takes a deep breath, trying to control her emotions better, but it doesn’t help. The alcohol in her system is just making it worse.

 

“Why were you drinking?” Dahyun asks all of a sudden— _demands_ an answer.

 

“Because- because I care, okay?” Sana tries desperately to grab Dahyun’s hand again, but Dahyun keeps pushing her away. “I feel too much and I hate seeing you like that and I _know_ it’s my fault for not noticing faster.” Sana hates feeling pathetic, but now she’s whimpering out her words. “Please don’t leave-”

 

“I won’t,” Dahyun answers, her shoulders slumping a bit. “Goddammit, I _can’t._ "

 

“I love you,” Sana whimpers, and it hurts Dahyun to hear that.

 

It’s not the heartfelt confession they always sing about. It's a desperate plea. The rain falls harder.

 

~

 

As soon as Sana sobers up, she’s back to cracking jokes to lighten up the mood.

 

“Don’t worry, Dahyun-ah!” she says with a bright voice, seeming more like her stage persona right now. “I promise I won’t drink again for the rest of my life for the next three weeks~”

 

As much as Dahyun wants to be mad at her, that just confuses her. “W-what?”

 

“You heard me,” Sana winks at her.

 

Dahyun sighs.

 

“Besides, it’s not that bad this time,” Sana points out, looking at herself in the mirror. “No hangover, and I still remember everything that happened last night.”

 

Dahyun hesitates. “You do?”

 

Sana finishes applying her lipstick. “We should get going.”

 

“Why are you even putting on makeup? We’re just going back to the dorms.”

 

Sana smiles mischievously and tries to kiss Dahyun, but the younger girl manages to duck away in time.

 

“You never change, do you?” Dahyun complains.

 

“Nope!” Sana says while pulling Dahyun’s face back towards her, successfully placing a red kiss on Dahyun’s cheek.

 

“Hey!” Dahyun exclaims, looking at the bright red mark through the mirror. She tries to rub it off, but the red pigment is too dark.

 

Sana kisses her other cheek, leaving another mark.

 

Dahyun’s brows furrow, but she can’t deny that she’s a little amused. “Stop it!”

 

Sana pouts, giving Dahyun her best puppy-dog eyes.

 

“Ugh, fine. It’s early, anyway.”

 

Sana checks her phone quickly. “ _Really_ early.” Her mischievous smile just gets worse and worse. “We still have an hour before we _really_ have to go back...”

 

“ _Sana_ ,” Dahyun growls.

 

Sana just smiles at her. “Don’t worry, Dubu… I’ll hide my marks well.”

 

And Dahyun hates how Sana says it, because she’s too attracted to her to say no.

 

~

 

The Twice girl can’t help but tease them by the time they do come back. Dahyun’s a blushing mess, hating how Sana’s won this time, but she can’t deny that she didn’t enjoy it a little too much. She keeps remembering what Sana said to her— _I love you_ —and it fills her heart with too many emotions at once.

 

Dahyun’s not sure what to do. It’s clear that Sana remembers, but it’s also clear that Sana doesn’t want to talk about it. Still, things will get messy if they keep avoiding it.

 

Yet they can’t talk. Not in the dorms at least, where all their members will try to listen to their conversation. And if not the dorms, they of course can’t when they’re working. It’s already risky enough when Sana whisks her away for a few minutes.

 

So, even though Dahyun knows they shouldn’t be going back to Sana’s apartment so soon, it’s her only option to confront her.

 

~

 

Sana’s never been more attracted to Dahyun than she is right now.

 

The younger girl was wearing little more than a collar, the black leather tight against the pale skin of her neck. She looked up to Sana with so much lust in her eyes that just that was enough to fan the flames. The single item just makes the bareness of Dahyun's skin all the more lovely.

 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Sana growls under her breath, looping a finger under Dahyun’s collar and pulling their faces closer.

 

Dahyun just kisses her, closing her eyes as she puts every ounce of energy into this kiss. She’s desperate— _wanting_ and _needing_ —trying to push Sana into just getting on with it already.

 

“I love you,” Sana whispers into Dahyun’s lips, the curve of her smile softly caressing her.

 

Dahyun feels like she must be dreaming this up, that there’s no way Sana just flat-out admitted that while they’re in such a compromising position.

 

“Is that okay?” Sana hesitates to ask. Her grip on Dahyun’s collar falls, and suddenly she’s soft and gentle with her, that sinful look in her eyes fading just a bit.

 

“It is,” Dahyun tells her, eyes wide as she stares up at her. She kisses her again, but this time it’s with love rather than with lust. “It is,” she whispers again into her lips, and it’s a promise neither of them will ever break.

**Author's Note:**

> i first wrote the idea for this on january twentygayteen and i found it in my drafts today
> 
> you can find me on twt @sonhyewolf


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